An Incandescent Man In A LED World

“I need to get some light bulbs,” I said to the associate after I finally get his attention in the massive home improvement store.

“Well, where are you going to use this light bulb?” he asks. “Indoor or outdoor?”

“I just need some regular bulbs for lamps and light fixtures inside the house,” I replied. “Where are the regular 60 watt light bulbs?”

“I’d look in this area,” he said as he pointed to the tremendous selection on rows of shelving that reached halfway the width of the store. “Did you want fluorescent, CFL, halogen or LED?”

“I’d like just a regular 60 watt. Just regular bulbs,” I said.

“If you are looking for a 60 watt, the LED equivalent will say 8-9 watts. You’ll have an energy savings of $1.08 per year!” he said with excitement. “The tiny light bulbs on the side of the box symbolize the wattage equivalent and the color of the writing on the outside of the box tells you the color of the bulb.”

I must look as confused as I am when he begins to show me the color scale.

“The yellowish color is warm and the more blue, the more like natural daylight,” he explained.

“Um…I just wanted a light bulb. I didn’t know it took an electrical engineering degree. Or at least one in light bulb purchasing,” I thought.

I closed my eyes, grabbed a box, thanked the associate for his help and headed to the checkout.

“I see you bought the new 60 watt bulb that only uses 9 watts of electricity," the associate said at the checkout. You can control it from your phone after you download the app, sign in and create an account. Make sure your password contains one upper case and three lower case letters, twelve symbols and all the initials of every street you've ever lived on. Once you get an email, sign back in and log onto your new account. Make sure you are connected to WIFI and it’ll work great!”

I just wanted a light bulb.

From the mind of me.